Don't You Know What Role Play Is?
by Baxter54132
Summary: "AG: His troll tag is centuarsTesticle. He gets lonely sometimes and I feel so badly for him that he has no one to rolepl8y with." When Vriska told Nepeta about Equius, she was only meaning it as a joke, who knew she would be setting up the best moraillegiance in all of Homestuck. Nepeta Equius One-shot


Hey guys, so yes, instead of updating my other stories, I'm writing Homestuck one shots.

This story is dedicated to Darkleer, the person who introduced this crazy fandom to me.

I've never written for moirails before, so I hope this isn't too out there.

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY EQUIUS ARROWS T.T

This is also up on Archive of Our Own if you want to see some color and Equius's arrows

Disclaimer: Homestuck belongs to Hussie, the end.

* * *

- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] –

AG: Heeeeeeeey.

AC: :33 *ac scratches her chin purriously at the newcomer.*

AG: *AG 8arfs from the ridiculous rolepl8y*

AG: Soooooooo, you're Nepeta right?

AC: :33 yes, hello!

AG: Gr8 so Pyrope wasn't lying after all

AG: I'm Vriska 8y the way.

AC: :33 it's nice to meet you vriska

AG: Right….. Anyw8y, you rolepl8y with Pyrope right?

AC: :33 *ac nods while purring happily*

AG: I have this friend, he a8solutely looooooooves to rolepl8y.

AC: :33 *ac's interest is purrked at the sound of ag's friend*

AG: Pyrope forgot to mention how weird you are…..

AG: His troll tag is centuarsTesticle. He gets lonely sometimes and I feel so badly for him that he has no one to rolepl8y with.

AG: ::::)

AC: :33 purrfect, I will message him right away!

- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] –

* * *

You are Nepeta Leijon. You don't know exactly what just happened, but you are excited at the prospect of making a new friend.

You quickly type in the new troll tag you got, and feel disappointed when the troll appears to be offline. Oh well, you decide to type him a friendly welcome anyway.

- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centuarsTesticle [CT] -

CT is an offline troll

AC: :33 *ac saunters joyously through the woods when suddenly she s33s a large house apurring through the tr33s*

AC: :33 *ac has never seen this house before and decides to pawfully explore*

AC: :33 *ac stalks up to the house, k33ping her ears p33led for whoever lives there*

AC: :33 *the curious feline takes a d33p breath inward, purring at the warm smells filling her nose*

AC: :33 *ac checks the door handle and is purresently surprised when it is unlocked*

AC: :33 *ac f33ls anxious to enter a strangers home and pawses in the doorway*

CT is now an online troll

CT: D - Uhhh

CT: D - What… is this?

AC: :33 *ac's eyes light up and she waves one paw, her original quest of exploration forgotten*

CT: D - I need a towel

AC: :33 *ac is puzzled by ct's request but searches for a towel with renewed purrpose*

AC: :33 *ac finds a purrfect towel and passes it to the sweaty troll*

CT: D - Thanks

AC: :33 you're welcome! *ac wonders why her new friend isn't rping*

CT: D - What is rp? Is this commoner vernacular?

AC: :33 what? silly rp stands for role play!

CT: D - Role play, the word does sound familiar

AC: :33 *ac giggles at how purrfectly adorable ct is being* i heard you enjoy role playing and are quite lonely. no one should be lonely

CT: D - Well, I have never role played before

CT: D - Maybe you could, explain it to me

CT: D - Actually

CT: D - I command you to explain it to me

AC: :33 h33h33 alright

AC: :33 role play is when two trolls have fun by pretending to be someone else

CT: D - That sounds 100dicrus

AC: :33 it is really pawsome

AC: :33 i'm slightly confused now though

AC: :33 vriska told me you liked role play

CT: D - This somehow does not surprise me, I will have to discuss this with Vriska later

CT: D - I need another towel

CT: D - So

CT: D - Are you suggesting we should role play?

AC: :33 if you want

CT: D - Do you want me to?

AC: :33 silly it doesn't matter

CT: D - Then we won't

CT: D - Playing pretend is for wigglers

AC: :33 hey! i'm not a wiggler, i'm already 5 sweeps old

CT: D - Oh

CT: D - Me too

AC: :33 well purrhaps this was fate

AC: :33 i need to add you to my shipping wall, what's your name anyway?

CT: D - No

CT: D - You need to tell me your name first

CT: D - As is fitting for your place on the hemospectrum

AC: :33 *ac pouts slightly* well alright my name is nepeta

CT: D - I am Equius Zahhak

AC: :33 hi equius! *her pounceler wonders what equius's relation with vriska is*

CT: D - Oh

CT: D - Well

CT: D - She is my neighbor

AC: :33 aw that's boring, is she your moirail or something?

CT: D - No

CT: D - That is preposterous

AC: :33 kismesis? i need something for my shipping wall

CT: D - Shipping wall? Is that more commoner vernacular?

AC: :33 no i carve ships that i support into a wall in my hive

AC: :33 oh the f33ls

CT: D - This sounds ridiculous I command you to stop talking about this at once

AC: :33 fine, i'll find out about you and vriska later

CT: D - Now… ask me a question

AC: :33 okay… why do you have that strange D thing before your messages?

CT: D - I am an archer

AC: :33 ooh we should hunt together

CT: D - I do not hunt

AC: :33 what? why not?

CT: D - It is sort of embarrassing

AC: :33 you can tell me

CT: D - Alright. I've actually never successfully fired an arrow

CT: D - The bow always breaks

AC: :33 oh that isn't so bad, i guess you must be purrety strong then

CT: D - I suppose I am

CT: D - Since you inquired I will do so as well, what is up with the :33?

AC: :33 that's my face! it's smiling because i'm happy.

CT: D - It looks weird

CT: D - I think you should change it

AC: :33 I think it's purrfect the way it is

AC: :33 *ac purrs thoughtfully and glances around for inspiration*

AC: :33 i got it!

AC: :33 i'll add this, then we'll be opposites

CT: D - I suppose that is acceptable

AC: :33 *ac loves her new addition and examines it with shiny wide eyes*

CT: D - No more role play

AC: :33 awww meanie equius

CT: D - Actually, Vriska is trolling me, but we should continue this conversation at a later date

AC: :33 alright! *ac waves goodbye to her new friend and bounds off into the forest*

CT: D - What did I say about role play? Oh forget it…

- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling centuarsTesticle [CT] –

* * *

You are now Equius Zahhak. You aren't sure what just happened, but you like it. Vriska started trolling you a few minutes ago, and you put off answering, but the eights are starting to irritate you so you figure you better pacify her.

- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling centuarsTesticle [CT] –

AG: ::::)

AG: How's the talk with your new friend going?

AG: Equius…..

AG: I don't like 8eing ignored, especially not 8y you.

AG: Equius!

AG: I know you're distracted by your new girlfriend 8ut you could take 8 seconds to message me 8ack.

CT: D - What is it?

AG: How do you like Nepeta? :::;)

CT: D - She is pleasant

AG: Aren't you wondering how she got your troll tag?

CT: D - No

AG: Oh...

AG: I'm going to tell you anyway, I gave it to her! Didn't her role pl8ying drive you craaaaaaaazy?

CT: D - I cannot comment on her commoner ways

CT: D - But

CT: D - Vriska

CT: D - - Thank you

CT is an offline troll

AG: What have I done?

- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling centuarsTesticle [CT] -

* * *

END! Grawr this took forever for me to write.

So please drop a review, let me know if it is in character, that's my biggest concern.


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